The Tree

I'm shopping for a Christmas tree this weekend. I haven't had one since 1996, the year my Mother died. No, to be more precise, I haven't had a tree since 1997, July 2, 1997. My mother died December 28, 1996. I couldn't take the tree down. I wouldn't take my tree down. My mourning overtook my housekeeping. In hindsight, it was nuts. At the time, it made perfect sense. The last thing my Mother and I had together, the last common thread we had, was my Christmas tree.

In March, I moved the tree, still wearing it's adornments, into the spare bedroom, fully intact, but I closed the door. I thought, maybe, out of sight, out of mind. But I realized, after four months, I did not like closed doors in my home. So, I did a self healing thing. I invited some friends over for July 4th, and I knew red and green clashed with red, white, and blue. I garbaged-bagged the tree and all hanging appendages thereon, and dumped it into the dumpster. I cried, and wept, and cried some more.  It was July 2, 1997.

Unfortunately, Christmas now takes a back seat in the caravan of holidays to Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and hell, I even like Halloween better than Christmas. Poor old Thanksgiving has been the victim of identity theft in the holiday community. In the middle of October this year, I was in Sears shopping for a new washer/dryer. They already had their Christmas wares on display and for sale. Nothing says Feliz Navidad like a blowup Darth Vadar wearing a Santa Hat holding the Death Star.

My Grandmommie and Grandaddy were born in 1900 and 1901, respectively, but they were the most I-want-to-spend-time-with-you-because-you're-the-most-fun- people people I knew. My maternal grandparents loved Christmas so much that the one dimensional reindeer pulling Santa in his sleigh would rise from their roof no later than the third day after Thanksgiving. The colored aluminum foiled wrapped cardboard boxes would be placed under the pine trees in their front yard, rebar strategically placed into each one to prevent these Jolly Green Giant-sized gifts from blowing into Albuquerque by the howling west Texas winds.

My GMom made it her mission each Xmas to get the most outrageous, but totally cool gifts possible for my Uncle Sparky, trying to outdo his gift from the previous year. One year my Uncle gave her a side saddle. The next, she gifted him a full skeleton, complete with top hat and red and green light bulbs for eyes. And, yes, I do have the pictures for authentication.

And, my favorite decoration ever in the history of Christmas decorations, the one that graced my grandparent's den, my Parents' living room, and my Aunt's dining area, was a seven and one-half foot aluminum tree, red glass balls hanging from every branch, with a red, blue, yellow, green color wheel turning, illuminating every gorgeous, silver needle. Perfection!

I do believe that I have just now decided on my Christmas tree for this year, my healing tree. I do so love some silver.